Yankees-Rays Squabbles a Shakespearean Affair

Yes, another Yankees post. How do they keep getting onto this blog?

I just had to say something about the recent animosity between the Yankees and Rays. Doesn't it resemble Romeo and Juliet? Let's go through the casting:

Capulet - Joe Girardi, the strategizing head of household

Montague - Joe Maddon, the calmer head of household

Tybalt - Shelley Duncan, the fiery prognosticator who takes a fall (in this case, a suspension)

Mercutio - Akinoru Iwamura, the unfortunate middle-man of a retaliation

Romeo - Johnny Gomes, the pal who sticks up for his friend Mercutio and slays Tybalt

Juliet - Alex Rodriguez, for...I'll let you decide

Benvolio - Elliot Johnson, for being a Montague, yet acting with good intentions

Paris - Francisco Cervelli, the innocent groom-in-waiting who got burned

Friar Lawrence - Stu Sternberg, the Rays sympathizer

Rosaline - Lou Piniella, the old flame

Apothecary - Bud Selig, for poisoning the game

Prince Escalus - Hank Steinbrenner, a loudmouth not very adept at keeping the peace

A glooming peace this morning with it brings;
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:
For never was a story of more woe
Than this of A-Rod and his Gomes.